Post Performance Blues

December for Project. B. has been a culmination of a lot of hard work and dedication.  It started with the open rehearsal on December 3, performances on December 7 and 8, Spark mentorship program's Discovery Night on Dec 14, grants and fundraising coming to a close, my own teaching, rehearsals, student performances finish out the semester/year.

And if you've ever performed or been part of something that gets you on this spiral that takes you higher and higher, you'll also know of the performance blues that brings you back down.

There have been so many great things that have come out of the year.  Project. B. has now been around a little over 1 1/2 years and the momentum of our growth astounds me every day.  The lull isn't quite there yet but several things ended for me this week.  The high of all my friends and family coming to support me in shows, compliments thrown left and right, the camaraderie I felt with my dancers, the excitement and the nervous energy that comes when the stage lights and music comes on, took me on this adrenaline frenzy.

Then there's the low.  Your friends go on with their holiday plans, the dancers rest up and restore their bodies, my late nights of sewing, writing emails, checking my to do list, adding on to my to do list have all ended.  Shouldn't I be happy for that break?  Instead, I begin to doubt myself.  Was it all really a success?  Did everyone really enjoy my work?  Was it worth all the late nights?  Is it worth being so vulnerable- everyone seeing this work I seemed so longingly to want to create.

I should know that it is worth it.  I should know that it is proven by what we have accomplished this year and the many people who helped make it work.  From in-kind donations, volunteers, mentors, recommendations, advisors, donations, audience, and my dancers who have been so supportive of me and the work (9 am rehearsals- yikes!), my family, and my husband who continues to give and give, I should acknowledge the creation of this new community that makes up Project. B.

And in my post performance blues, I begin to pinpoint that what  I want is that adrenaline frenzy.  I want it to happen over and over again.  And the only way to do that is to keep planning for the future of Project. B.  The community that has been created is proof of where we can go and how we can continue.  I am very excited to work with all of them again. 


I would also like to thank the following people for all they've given to me and the company:

Dancers of Project. B.:  Katherine Wells, Kelly Del Rosario, Chin-chin Hsu, Norma Fong, and Vanessa Thiessen with    Tanya Bello

Marco Gallerizzo, Paulee and Matt Halloran, Theo, Mike Sugrue, Nadeem Jessani, Lisa Moresco, Leila Minerva-Rivers, Julie Johnson, KT Nelson, Amara Tabor-Smith, Janice Garrett, Charles Moulton, Joe Landini, Christy Bolingbroke, Kimi Okada, Krissy Keefer, Stella Adelman, Wayne Hazzard, Michelle Handberry, Kate Ahumada, Talia Baruch,  my donors, and my current dancers, Norma Fong, Kelly Del Rosario, Chin-chin Hsu, Katherine Wells, Vanessa Thiessen as well as the dancers that have worked with me in the past, Mayuko Hosoai, Diana Broker, Bethany Mitchell, Dudley Flores, and Yu-mien Wu.

It really has been a great year.  Can't wait to get over the blues.

In four months...

My last blog was at the end of my show Sotto Voce back in July 2011.  No, I haven't been on a break.  If anything, I've been working constantly and gearing up for a new project that will culminate in a performance at the ODC Theater in July 2012.

So in the process, I've hired five dancers for the 2011/2012 season, all kick ass by the way. 

Norma Fong and Kelly Del Rosario

August 2011, I was invited to show a work-in-progress for RAWdance's Concept Series.  The piece was inspired by the journals of my mom, Maria Isabel.  It was a very emotional journey but one that took me to a place I didn't think I would go with the piece.  I ended up stripping the piece of the music I had in mind and instead used poetry.  Maria Isabel will be a section of the bigger piece Sol y Sombra premiering at ODC in 2012.

September, Project. B. performed the third section of Moveable Feast at Central Market Arts Festival and I started rehearsing with the whole company as well as creating new and exciting partnerships and mentorships with people.  One of them is a mentorship program called WERK Collective.  In this program, we are mentored by Christy Bolingbroke of ODC Theater, Joe Landini of the Garage (SAFEHOUSE), as well as Nancy Quinn of Quinn & Associates.  This year long mentorship is also part of the culmination of the performance at ODC in 2012. 

I have also taken on a mentee through the SPARK Apprentice program.  Every Tuesday afternoon for 3 months, I am mentoring Ruby, a middle school student who someday wants to be a choreographer.  Along with 2 of my dancers Norma Fong and Katherine Wells, who Ruby gets to create on, I mentor and give her the tools of what she needs to become a successful choreographer.  So far, she is doing an amazing job.  Her piece will be shown at her Discovery Night in December as well as my Open Rehearsal/ Fundraising Event.

Spark Apprentice, Ruby Wheeler

Aside from being a mentor and being mentored, I've also asked several people in the San Francisco Community to be a part of an advisory board.  This Advisory Board has helped in creating a new audience base for Project. B.  At first, I thought that I wouldn't get more than 15-20 people in the room, however, my Board, who I am so thankful for, has filled this event to capacity more than twice the amount I even imagined and all new to Project. B.!  I'm really excited to meet all of them and to share with them my love of the work we are doing and the beautiful dancers they will get to see perform.

Me on the sidelines with Mike Sugrue at Project. B.'s photo shoot

October, I was able to give my dancers a chance to take a company class of sorts where I was able to use the combinations from class and manipulate it in rehearsals.  It saved me a lot of time to have to teach them new material in rehearsal and instead delved in to the creating part of it.  Janice Garrett was in Uganda for the month so she graciously gave me the chance to teach her ever amazing and popular Advanced/Professional Contemporary Class at ODC.  It was a really great experience to be teaching such amazing dancers.  I also felt honored that people supported me by taking my class.

It is now November, and our project for the month- an AMAZING Photo Shoot with Michael Sugrue.  I want so bad to go on about it but it's something you have to see for yourself.  The pictures say it all.  I also think the dancers had a great time playing, jumping, throwing....  You'll see what I mean soon enough:)
 
And December-  an open rehearsal event, a show at the Garage with the WERK Collective Artists, and Ruby's Discovery Night.

It's been a busy second half of 2011.  All really worthit!  

Sotto Voce Opening Night

Several years ago, Krissy Keefer of Dance Mission Theater, brought to the dance community an amazing program called the Down and Dirty Series; DIRT meaning dancing in revolting times.  In these times of hardship, funding for the arts keeps dwindling and getting cut, and new evolving artists like myself find it harder to receive funding and show our work.  Krissy Keefer and the Dance Brigade gave 7 artists the opportunity to show their work in their Theater for 2-3 nights, discounted rehearsal space, free lighting designer and sound tech, a theater manager, box office manager, and 30% of the box office.  What an amazing opportunity!!!

When I applied for the Down and Dirty Series, I wanted so much to be able to show my work in a bigger stage.  All my pieces, I believe, moves big and the spatial patterns that I envisioned for them needed a stage like Dance Mission Theater.  When I received the acceptance letter that Nol Simonse and I were sharing 3 nights at the theater, I was honored, excited, and nervous all at the same time.  Yes, I will have a bigger space but will I be able to fill the house with an audience?

I did the usual mass e-mail, full calendar, Dancers' Group, website advertising but I was still scared we wouldn't see any results.  So it seems that because neither Nol Simonse  and I are on Facebook, no one really seems to care about looking at the paper or email blasts anymore.  I've been resisting Facebook for so long and wondered if I should join.  I still resisted and yet was still very nervous for opening night of Sotto Voce (the title of our show).

Until about 5 minutes before the show started on opening night, I hid backstage and had knots in my stomach due to the fact that I thought maybe only 30 people would be sitting in the audience, 7 of them on the dancers' comp list.  And as I entered through the side door of the house, I look up to see that although not a sold-out house, we had a full house.  It was a beautiful sight to see friends, the dance community, and new faces in the audience.

It's funny what will make you nervous.  I wasn't nervous for my pieces at all or the tech.  Harry Rubeck, who lit my piece was so amazing to work with.  What was supposed to be a low-tech down and dirty show, turned out to be more.  He lit my pieces with so much artistry and brought out the vision I wanted to portray in my pieces.  It was a dream come true to see the dancers move to their fullest potential.  They deserved no less and they were lit beautifully.

We will see how tonight and Sunday night will go.  But I do thank Dance Mission Theater, Krissy Keefer, and the wonderful and positive staff for all they have given me.  Although under the radar, Project. B. shared our voice in a big way.

If you weren't there last night, I hope you will join us for tonight's 8pm performance or Sunday night's 7 pm performance of Sotto Voce at Dance Mission Theater.

Sotto Voce

As a dancer, it is such a privilege to be able to be part of the creative process, perform it, and continue to perform it.  I sat down with several of my peers last summer as they spoke about their way of working and choreographing and what suited them as far as what steps they take to continue their creative process.  


One hated the idea of reconstructing a piece and spoke about how he liked to move forward.  Another, loved to look at an old piece and remold it, rework it, and see where it could go next.  As I move forward, I've had the opportunity to show my pieces several times in different venues.  The first time I showed Triquetra was definitely very special because I created it on three specific women who portrayed exactly what it is I wanted to manifest.  They showed it two more times in 2010 and felt that each time they performed it brought more life and meaning to what they were dancing.  It's almost as if their roles/ characters grew with more understanding and more maturity.  In 2011, I changed the casting and had a male counterpart.  Although the piece itself was compositionally the same, the meaning and energy changed.  It had a different voice and yet, I still liked it.  


I thought that my second piece, Souterrain was a piece that I wouldn't reconstruct again because I had such a hard time creating it.  However, I was given the opportunity to show two sections of the piece April 2011 and really enjoyed it.  It was nice to be able to leave the piece for several months and take a breath from it.  Seeing it again the second time was definitely more enjoyable and found that if reworked, this piece is entertaining and is a different side of Project. b. that I should continue to show. 


For the Down and Dirty Series, my dancers will have another chance to perform the work I've created in the first year of Project. b.'s existence.  Sotto Voce, the name that Nol Simonse and I came up with for this shared program, means soft voices.  It encapsulates the sense of strength both Nol and I reach for in our subtle and deftly crafted dances.

Project.b. will be showing a piece from my first home season, Moveable Feast as well as Souterrain, a  dance describing the interconnectedness of our random actions, and Triquetra, a trio of femininity, family, and identity.

I hope you will come join us on July 29-31 at Dance Mission as Nol and I explore new depths with physicality and care.

Moveable Feast: In Retrospect

graphic artist:  marco gallerizzo
photo by:  margo moritz

Project. b.’s first home season was sold out both nights and was featured in the SF Bay Guardian’s Critics’ Pick (Rita Felciano)

In creating and presenting this work, I found that the process was a relatively complex but rewarding experience both for me as the choreographer as well as the dancers and the audience.  

The concept itself proved to be beneficial to me as a choreographer.  It was a different way of working and looking at my movement in several forms.  It allowed me to step back and see what was strong and what needed work.  It allowed me to challenge my dancers and to see their strengths and what roles fit them best.  It also allowed my company to grow as a strong unit because it meant that they needed to help and work together in a way they didn’t work before.  

The visual artists that joined me on this project fed me with a lot to think about and to be inspired with.  I was able to continue working with 2 out of the 3 artists (Margo Moritz and Marco Gallerizzo) that I originally planned on working with and then added a new artist (Michael Sugrue) to the mix.  Both Margo and Marco’s triptychs greeted the audience as they entered the lobby of the Garage.  I felt it created a mood that represented Project. B. well and also helped to carry the concept of Moveable Feast from one art form into another.  Between each section of Moveable Feast, the audience was shown a 30 second video created by Michael Sugrue; again with the concept that he create the same work different ways.  As a whole evening, everyone appreciated these videos, or what I called the palate cleanser, in order to refresh the mind before seeing another dance piece.  

I added another element that I didn’t originally have on my project description.  I was able to collaborate with composer, Jesse Olsen Bay.  By adding his work to the mix, the process became even more inspiring.  Instead of my composition fitting into a recorded piece of music, Jesse and I were able to collaborate.  It was another level to the concept of Moveable Feast.  What at first were just inspirations of sounds from movement, became a marriage between music and movement.  This particular piece had the theme of building and layering.  The movement composition started with a solo that grew to a quartet.  The music composition started with one idea, sound, and instrument that layered into a final piece of music that incorporated all of this from each section.  

During the Q&A portion of the show, many people commented on the process.  The process of the dancers learning different parts.  The process of the dancers changing their perception on how to execute the movement three different ways.  The process of the same piece reconfigured yet creating a mood or an idea that made each piece stand out separately from the one before it.  

The questions that were asked gave me a sense that the audience captured what I wanted to convey in presenting Moveable Feast.  People talked about the work and was excited to give their ideas and share their opinions about each section.  I believe I was able to intrique, satiate, and inspire the audience through this work.  

Moveable Feast Q&A

Marco Gallerizzo's triptych in the lobby of the Garage

Moveable Feast was sold out again tonight and the glitches that took place on opening night seemed to work itself out this evening.  It was a much more solid show overall and made it even better that the house was filled with dancers, friends, and family.

The Q&A portion of the show was very insightful as to whether or not I was able to execute my concept of Moveable Feast.  I think the best analogy that an audience member made was that "Moveable Feast" was like a favorite food.  Once you know you like something, you begin to search for that same ingredient configured differently.  In this case, he mentioned a section of movement that the dancers executed three times that evening.

Another audience member used the word "nourished"  That as a non-dancer, she felt that seeing three versions of the same movement in different moods nourished her mind and her soul.

So, I am very satisfied with the outcome of Moveable Feast.  I felt that along with the visual artists, collaborating artists, dancers, and I accomplished our goal.  Hopefully, our audience will take what they found profound in this work and use it as a basis to critique dance in the future.

And now on to year two!

Moveable Feast Opening Night

The time has finally come for the opening night of Moveable Feast.  To be totally honest, tech-ing the piece was kind of a nightmare.  As much as you try to prepare and organize for something, there are just things that are out of your hands.  It's a lesson that I'm sure I will be hit with on a constant basis now that I am running a dance company.

What I was able to control went really well, I thought.  The dancers looked beautiful and of course, very professional.  They were on top of it and they made that part of the tech process so much easier.

The last several days, we transformed the Garage into a space that represented Project. B. well.  Margo Moritz hung her artwork in the lobby and created an ambience that felt very welcoming and visually pleasing.  Marco, also hung his 3 framed posters of Project. B. that greeted the guests as they purchased their tickets and drinks.

Opening night was a little rough because of tech.  The breaker to the lights kept malfunctioning and the lighting board seemed to not cooperate.  Aaaah!  At 7:30 pm the guests were standing outside the doors of the Garage just waiting to enter the space.  Joe let everyone in around 7:40, however, there were still technical difficulties.  Although people were standing shoulder to shoulder in the lobby waiting to enter the house, it was really nice to see that we were SOLD OUT!

All in all, the show went well.  I took a breath when the lighting board decided to erase the last three cues of the last piece and Mike, the lighting designer, had to switch to a manual board.  At that point, the upstage lights cut out!  Luckily, they still had downstage lights that created a box and for the most part, lit the last section of the last piece.  The dancers kept dancing, the music kept playing, and the audience didn't notice the malfunction.

The videos were also a hit.  A couple aaahs and giggles and claps came following each video.

I think people enjoyed the show.  I spoke to a few guests afterwards and was very glad to hear the questions they had for me, the thoughts that were provoked from the whole evening's concept, and that they left thinking and exploring more about my process and about each piece.  That's really what I wanted to accomplish.  I think opening night went well considering all the technical glitches.

Did Moveable Feast give the audience the chance to explore the notion of perception and viewpoint?  Did the audience see what it is that might nurture their minds and feed their souls, and provide them with newfound energy and inspiration?  I think so.  At least the questions I received, the conversations I heard and had with guests afterwards made me believe so.

On to tonight.  We have sold 3/4 of the tickets already.  Let's hope walk-ins will sell out the house again:)